I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
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He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
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If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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