He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize