Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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