It's Friday. Sex?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
