and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize