Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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