u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
