YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
