i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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