stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
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Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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