Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Randomize
