If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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