he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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