If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
