Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
