also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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