i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Randomize
