Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
