the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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