i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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