They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
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Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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