I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
