I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize