Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
