The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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