You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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