Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
