and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
