end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
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i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
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So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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