lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You ruined the universe
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
