I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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