In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Your dad touched me again.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
