this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
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i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
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You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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