Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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