i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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