There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
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When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
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Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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