Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize