She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
