i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
