Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I could fuck to npr.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Randomize
