I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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