You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
