We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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