Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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