We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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