At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
how does that bad decision feel?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
