Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
