we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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