I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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