We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
