She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
