Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
