it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
