i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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