I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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