awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
