I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
