i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
