How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
